I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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