every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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