4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
