If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
