Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
