I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
