how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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