Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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