After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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