Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
