She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
