Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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