I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
