I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
