It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
