your thong is hanging out like whoa
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize