i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
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oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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