You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
