so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
