instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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