Midget sex pt 2 tonight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
