Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?