lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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