i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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