based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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