booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
