Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you win again, gameday.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
