I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
