I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
