Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
