PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
