yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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