Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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