I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize