the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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