My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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