I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
