It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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