god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
