I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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