great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
