TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize