JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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