"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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