Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
as a side note pls kill me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
