so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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