was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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