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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it's like iHOP with fire
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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