I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I CAN MOONWALK!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
