I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
