we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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