no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
