and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
