So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
