belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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